MITWOTS Diary - Recap

Well, the Most Important Two Weeks Of The Season ended with a thud for the Rockies. After a great and exciting start, taking three of four from the Giants and then the first of three from the Dodgers, things looked pretty good, and national press was starting to look the Rockies' way. And thanks to that hot start, things still aren't looking so bad for the Rockies... but they could have been a lot better. Dropping the last two to the Dodgers, and then getting swept on the road in San Francisco, was a big speed bump in the Rockies' road to the playoffs.

When looked at as a losing streak, the Rockies' 5-game streak to the two teams they're most directly in contention with looks pretty bad. But if we break it down, there are signs of hope. Starting pitching failed one game, Fogg's start against LA, but other than that they pitched well, even excellently at times. Relief pitching failed in one game, the finale in SF, but again, other than that, they pitched fairly well. Rockies' bats did some damage, but as has been a problem off and on all year, it was often too little & too late. And every once in a while, you just run into a guy who pitches a great game... the Rockies ran into three (Wolf, Lincecum, and Zito). So was it a successful stretch of games? Not entirely, but it wasn't entirely a failure, either.

Things will have to change, and change fast, if the Rockies hope to pull back ahead of the Giants, Marlins, and Braves in the WC chase. Luckily, the Rockies' schedule looks pretty favorable from here on out, and we can only hope that they take full advantage of it. The bottom line is this: after these two weeks, we still don't know exactly what the Rockies are made of this season. Are they a team that never give up, and can win exciting games with pitching, defense, and hitting? Or are they a team that can be overmatched against good teams in big games, and can't function with one or two vital pieces out of the mix? The answer is probably all of the above.

It would have been nice to enter September with a nice, 4-game cushion. But the NL playoffs are going to be tough, and perhaps a fight to the finish will give the wild card winner a better chance at hanging in with the likes of Philly, St Louis, and Los Angeles in October. At any rate, it will be an exciting month to end the season!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

MITWOTS Diary - Day 9

Another good pitching performance quiets Rockies' bats. One game up in the wild card race, five back in the division. With one game to go in The Most Important Two Weeks Of The Season, the Rockies have not taken advantage of the situation they were given.

The "glass is half-full" folks will say that the Rockies picked a bad time to go on a slump, faced some high-end pitching, and were in pretty much every game of this four-game losing streak. The "glass is half empty" types will say that the Rockies faltered when they ran into good teams playing well when every game was a huge one. The excuse makers will say that the Rockies suffered a letdown both physically and mentally from the two extra-innings wins, and did well with two of their better hitters and faster players out of the lineup with injuries, replaced by a kid with zero games in the bigs.

No matter which of the above camps you fall into, the Rockies will not have any easier time of it today. Hammel, their most up-and-down starter, goes up against one of the Giants' most dependable pitchers, Matt Cain. This game boils down the MITWOTS into one handy question: Do the Rockies come out of this stretch with an advantage moving towards the playoffs, or in a dead heat with the Giants?

Saturday, August 29, 2009

MITWOTS Diary - Day 8... Time to Worry?

The Rockies began the Most Important Two Weeks Of The Season by winning 3 of 4 from the Giants. Things were good. But now, the Rockies have lost 3 of four, and they are once again 4 games behind the Dodgers and a mere two ahead of the Giants. So, how do we at Year of the Beard feel about all this?

Not too bad, actually. Let's look at their three-game losing streak for a moment... they lost a game to the Dodgers in which Josh Fogg started against Randy Wolf, after two straight extra-innings Rockies wins. This game was like staring down the barrel of a gun... it was a game where a win would have been a pleasant little bonus, and so their loss, to me, is no biggie. The next game, they were stymied by the Dodgers' much better version of Fogg, Vincente Padilla, in a pretty good game that could have gone either way. And last night, probably the best pitcher in the NL owned them, Tim Lincecum leading the Giants to a 2-0 victory.

So the Rockies aren't getting blown out, and with the exception of Fogg they have pitched pretty well... just not as well as their opponents. So it's too early to suggest that the Rockies are slumping, they've just played a couple good games that haven't gone their way against good opponents. So while it's tough to see the Giants creeping back to within striking distance, it's not panic time just yet.

This is not to suggest that the Rockies have been hard-luck losers, however... they need to do a lot more with the bats than they have been lately. Lost in all the excitement of the 14-inning victory earlier this week was the fact that the Rockies left a LOT of runners on base, and that trend has continued in every game since. You have to tip your cap to the opposing pitcher, of course, but the sorts of opportunities the Rockies have had but failed to convert are going to have to start turning into runs on the scoreboard, if the Rockies consider themselves a playoff team.

It doesn't get a lot easier from here: the Rockies face a resurgent Barry Zito today, and then the Giants other ace, Matt Cain in the finale. It's entirely possible that the Rockies could be back in a tie for the Wild Card by the end of the weekend. The Rockies are a better team than the Giants, and overall they are at least the equal of the Dodgers... but they've been freaked out by good pitching the last week or so. That needs to end today, if the Rockies hope not only to challenge for the division, but to hold off three very good teams chasing them for the wild card.

Friday, August 28, 2009

MITWOTS Diary - Day 7

The rubber match of the three-game Dodgers series went the wrong way for Rockies fans, with the Dodgers winning the game 3-2. It was a good game, with the Rockies getting the tying run to 2nd in the bottom of the 9th, but Broxton shut the door. The Rockies lost Carlos Gonzales again, who appeared to land on his cut hand while diving to make a catch. EY Jr replaced him, leaving fans to wonder if the 9th may have turned out differently had Gonzales' hot bat been up in the crucial 9th inning rather than a guy playing in his 3rd major league game.

The Dodgers leave town with a four-game division lead. The D-backs finally did the Rockies a favor, pummeling the Giants, to leave them three behind the Rockies in the wild card standings. The Most Important Two Weeks Of The Season now hits the road, with a crucial three-game set in San Francisco. The Rockies can either leave California with a comfortable lead, or back in a tight race for the Wild Card.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

MITWOTS Diary - Day 6

Josh Fogg's shaky start doomed the Rockies in their second of three games with the Dodgers, losing 6-1 and ensuring that LA will leave Colorado with a lead in the division race. All of LA's runs were scored on home runs. Fogg pitched OK for the first three innings, but the 4th was a struggle; he faced six batters in the 4th inning and allowed four runs on two homers, without recording an out.

Randy Wolf pitched very well for the Dodgers, limiting baserunners and allowing one HR to Ryan Spilborghs. Juan Rincon was a highlight for the Rockies, pitching four perfect innings in relief, helping to create a situation for today's game in which most of the bullpen arms should be available. EYJr continued to hit the ball fairly well, with two more hits, and continued to learn hard lessons on the basepaths, getting caught stealing for the second time in as many games.

So, will the Dodgers have a two game lead after today, or a four-game lead? The Giants gained ground on the Rockies also, and are now three back. Needless to say, but the rubber match today is a big game! Go Rockies!!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

MITWOTS Diary - Day 5

Another extra-innings game, another win for the Rockies. Luckily, this time, the Rockies won it quick, saving what's left of their bullpen. Had Jason Hammel not gone 7 innings and had Tulo's single with the bases loaded not won the game in the 10th, the Rockies could have been in trouble bullpen-wise for the rest of the series. As it is, they must hope for another innings eating performance tonight from Josh Fogg (and, I'm guessing, one long reliever), to let the end-of-game guys get some much needed rest.

It's unlikely this game would have even gone to extras had the bullpen not been overworked after the 14-inning win. Tracy decided to rest Street, and put the save in the hands of Betancourt and Daley, who were unable to come through. Daley had pitched two innings in the 14-inning game, so putting him in to face Manny was an odd decision, and he ended up giving up a two-strike hit that tied the game. But at any rate, it was another big win for the Rockies, who now sit two games back in the NL West, and even more unbelievably, are getting national coverage!

And congrats to Eric Young Jr, who got his first start, hit, and caught stealing last night! Go Rockies!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

MITWOTS Diary - Day 4

Ryan Spilborghs' grand slam in the bottom of the 14th gave the Rockies their third straight win over the Giants, winning 6-4. It was the weird sort of extra-innings game where you see stuff you don't often see: both benches run out of players, pitchers used as pinch-runners, nealry 30 guys left on base, relief pitchers batting with the bases loaded, and so many double switches that a scorecard looks like a NYC subway map.

Barry Zito and Jason Marquis started the game and both pitched fantastic games, leaving the game tied 1-1 after nine and up until the top of the 14th, when the Giants scored three runs off alleged Major League pitcher Adam Eaton. Luckily for the Rockies, the Giants' pitching was no better in the bottom of the 14th, as the aforementioned Eaton walked with the bases loaded to bring in one run, and then Spilborghs sent the crowd home happy with his shot to deep right field.

The Rockies had a frustrating amount of chances to win the game before that, however, and near the end, it had the feel of one of those games that would come back to haunt them. Troy Tulowitzki tried (and failed) to hit a 600-foot home run in every at-bat, and on his lone hit of the evening, his boneheaded baserunning cost the Rockies a 1st-and-3rd with no outs situation. One double play (a tailor-made DP ball to Spliborghs) later, the Giants had escaped the 10th unscathed. And twice, Clint Barmes came to bat with the winning run at third, and twice he failed to put the ball in play.

This win might have come at a high cost, however, as Dexter Fowler fouled a ball into his leg or knee and collapsed in obvious pain. He stayed in the game and drew a walk (the Rockies had only Ianetta on the bench, who Tracy had to save to hit for Gonzales due to his hand injury), eventually scoring when Eaton walked with the bases loaded, but he was limping badly. And it remains to be seen what the long night will do to the Rockies tomorrow, as the Dodgers come to town. But with one swing of the bat, the Rockies went from staring at a two-game lead over the Giants to having a four-game lead, and a fantastic start to the Most Important Two Weeks Of The Season. Go Rockies!

Monday, August 24, 2009

MITWOTS Diary - DAY 3

Major League Baseball had a tailor-made national TV game yesterday at Coors Field, with 2008 Cy Young winner Tim Lincecum and the Giants facing budding star Ubaldo Jimenez and the Rockies at Coors Field, with only two games separating the teams at the top of the NL Wild Card standings. Naturally, all the national attention went to yet another Yankees/Red Sox tilt. Does ESPN realize that when they hype a matchup that happens 18 times a year as if it were a once-in-a-lifetime event, it gets kind of old?

Unlike ESPN's pet matchup, the Rox/Giants lived up to its billing. Lincecum -- even though he looked shaky at times -- carried a no hitter into the 6th. Jimenez made one mistake pitch to Renteria that put him in a 2-0 hole early. In the 6th, a single by Helton and a bad defensive decision by the Giants allowed him to score from 2nd, and the Rockies were on the board; in the 7th, a Seth Smith 2-run shot made it 3-2 Rockies. Jimenez wriggled off the hook in the 8th, Rockies scored an insurance run when Barmes took one for the team, and Street closed the game with a perfect 9th.

The Rockies have taken two of three from the Giants, with the final game of the series tonight. They gain a game in the wild card standings to hold a 3 game lead over SF and the Braves one further back. The Rockies also gained a game on the Dodgers and trail in the division by 3.5 games. And if you missed the game, just tune to ESPN... after 15 minutes on the Sox/Yanks and another 10 on the Phillies' unassisted triple play to end their game (conveniently disguising their bullpen's efforts to blow another save), you might get lucky to see some highlights, right before "Tom Brady Sacked!!!" and other pressing news. Go Rockies!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

MITWOTS Diary - Day 2

Day 2 of the Most Important Two Weeks Of The Season started much like day 1 did... iffy pitching putting the Rockies in a 6-1 hole early. The light-hitting Giants were once again getting healthy against the Rockies. It was a sorry sight.

Unlike yesterday, however, the Rockies began to claw their way back before the 9th inning. A couple runs in the 4th made it 6-3, and showed that they might have signs of life in this game. A seven-run explosion in the 6th put them in the lead. They then scored four more runs in the 7th, which they ended up needing, as the Giants refused to give in, scoring 5 runs in the final two innings off of Daley and Herges. Street had to come in to secure the game in a non-save situation, getting the final two outs for a 14-11 Rockies win.

The Rockies' wild card lead is back to two games over the Giants. The Dodgers beat the Cubs again to maintain their 4.5 game division lead... the Cubs look to be done and are taking in water fast; they don't look like they're going to be able to help the Rockies any. Today's game is key for both teams: Lincecum vs Jimenez. If SF wins, they still have a shot at leaving Colorado tied for the wild card. Rockies win, and they guarantee a split and at least a two game lead.

In other news, the Rockies are close to signing Jason Giambi to a minor league contract, and he will report to the Sky Sox. The idea is that the former MVP and juicer will be a veteran left-handed bench bat when the rosters are expanded next month. The Rockies have also reportedly signed free agent pitcher Russ Ortiz to a minor league contract, for pitching depth with Cook on the DL. Go Rockies!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

MITWOTS Diary - Day 1

Mellow greetings this morning, disciples of The Beard! The Most Important Two Weeks Of The Season did not start out the way Rockies fans would have liked last night, with a 6-3 loss to the Giants. This, coupled with a Dodgers win over the Cubs, leaves the Rockies 4.5 games back in the division, and one game ahead of the Giants in the wild card race.

It was clear from the outset that this game would be an uphill battle for the Rockies. An ill Tulowitzki meant that their best defender and hottest bat was out of the lineup. The Rockies looked shaky in the field, committing three errors. And from the first pitch, we could tell that something was wrong with Cook... every ball was up, and his command was terrible. It's his second straight awful start, and he will probably end up on the DL. And as we've seen far too often recently, Rockies were striking out more often than a Gaming Guild at the Playboy Mansion.

Even so, the Rockies had plenty of chances to get back in this game. Helton hit into a double play with the bases loaded. Spilborghs (still tinkering with his facial-hair formation) left four on base. And they got the tying run to the plate in the 9th. This game could have turned out differently had either Tulo or Cook been healthy, but with both out, we shouldn't be too surprised at the outcome.

Beard Shavings

Greetings Rockies fans! The Rockies clubhouse is brimming with wins and with beards, and I have been busying myself with both. After another winning road trip, the Rockies are headed home today to start the Most Important Two Weeks Of The Season. Four games with the Giants (currently 2 games back of the Rockies in the wild card standings). Then, three games with the Dodgers (currently 3.5 games ahead of Colorado in the NL West Standings). Then, on the road for three more games with the Giants.

By the end of August, Rockies fans, we shall know a great deal about this team. Are they pretenders who have been lucky enough to pile up wins against the likes of the Nationals and Pirates? Or, are they a truly Beard-worthy team this season, capable of winning their first NL West division title? The next two weeks will tell us much.

If the Rockies struggle in these upcoming series, they will find themselves 3-4 games back of the Giants/Marlins in the wild card. If they play these games around .500ish, they could emerge still holding on to the wild card lead by the skin of their teeth. Or they can win these three series, and find themselves entering a relatively easy (and home-heavy) September leading their division.

Will they need the September schedule to play catch-up, caught in the midst of the 5-team wild card race? Or will they use those games to pad a lead over the Dodgers, possibly even to gain a home-field advantage throughout the NL playoffs?

Many around the baseball world have called the Rockies "streaky," but as usual, few of these people are informed. Since the day Jim Tracy took over this team, there is not a 10-game stretch in the season in which the Rockies have been less then a .500 team. But that will mean little if they cannot win these vital games with their closest division and playoff rivals.

The Beard hopes that you will enjoy these games! With the power of Ryan Spilborghs' Beard at their side, the Rockies begin the final march towards the 2009 postseason. And I, The Beard, will see you there!

Beard Shavings

Greetings loyal readers! Once again, I find myself begging your pardon for the long delay between updates, but I, The Beard, have been very busy of late. Not only is the Rockies lineup as beard-heavy as it has ever been, but that excellence is flowing freely from their faces to their play on the field! It has been a very exciting thing to be a part of, and I am doing everything I can to help maintain it.

I can finally report that Ryan's and my efforts to spread greatness through the Rockies clubhouse has taken full effect! Ryan's latest facial hair efforts have been exemplary, and many of his teammates have followed suit. Joe Beimel has been a nice, albeit scruffy addition to the team. Ian Stewart is putting forth a nice effort in the beard department, although I must admit it needs as much work as his batting average. And Helton -- a guy who really doesn't need Beardly influence to reach greatness -- was even sporting the full beard up until a week or so ago. With so many beards finely tuned to excellence, even with those who cannot grow a manly beard have been playing great, and that's been our goal all along: to bring Beardly greatness to all who wear the Rockies uniform.

On the field, the Rockies continue to excel. They are keeping pace with the Giants, and have gained a bit of ground on the Dodgers. The Rockies have an interesting August, with every remaining series but one (the Nationals next week) against a playoff contender, seven of those games against the Giants. Their September schedule looks much more favorable, with 18 of 27 games at Coors Field, and only six games (three at the Giants, three at home against the Cardinals) against teams currently with winning records.

The key games of the season are upon us here in the 2nd half of August: if the Rockies hold on or gain ground in the next two weeks, then they can take the lead down the home stretch in September. But if they falter in August, they'll have to use September to catch up. This is what a pennant race is all about, Rockies fans! And it's fun to be a part of it!

Worse Than The Rockies

Hello, and welcome to another Worse Than The Rockies movie review! Today we have an especially turdish film to critique: Transformers 2, the Revenge of the Fallen.

Man, where to start with this one? This movie is a complete and utter mess, and even though there are clues early on (like the token white guy in prehistoric, tribal Africa), you don't really get the full effect of this one until you reach the end. Explaining the plot of a film like this one is a bit like describing poop's motivation to escape the butt, but I'll give it a shot:

Transformers came to Earth a zillion years ago, and built a machine that destroys stars and turns them into energy. But, being noble creatures, they do not destroy any star in a system where there is life. This pesky rule didn't stop one Transformer, though, who wants to destroy Earth's sun to make some energy. He gets banished from Transformer-land (becoming the titular "Fallen"), but only after the other ruling Transformers (the "Primes") sacrifice themselves to hide the key that activates the star-energy machine, thus saving Earth from destruction. With me so far?

The Decepticons are all descendants/followers of this Fallen guy, the Autobots descendants of the noble Primes. Through a series of conveniently placed plot holes, Megatron, leader of the Decepticons (killed in the first film) is raised from the dead, and begins to search for Sam, the whiny kid from the first film, who has a map to the star machine in his brain, somehow. The Autobots, working together with the militaries of the world, are going around hunting Decepticons, and try to stop them.

That's pretty much it, plot-wise. Optimus Prime is killed in a fight so confusing and hard to follow that the robots have to narrate it for us ("Take that, Optimus! I punch your face, Megatron!"), a battle ensues in Egypt, Optimus is revived, the Autobots win and destroy the star power machine, all in just under 2 1/2 hours!

With some sneaky research, I actually uncovered the shooting script for this movie! The following is the final page of the script.

Exterior Egypt, day. The Autobots and the Army Guys bring Optimus' lifeless body to the desert. The Decepticons attack the Pyramids to uncover the Star Machine. Sam and his girlfriend rush to revive Optimus with the stuff in Sam's tube sock.

GIANT BATTLE!!! WOOSH! WHARRR!!! Megan Fox runs away from explosions in slow motion. Sam gets exploded.

Megan Fox: "Sam, I love you!"

Sam goes to Transformer heaven.

Dead Transformer: "Sam, you did great. The leadership matrix isn't in your sock, it's in your heart. Go back and revive Optimus."

Sam goes back to earth and is alive!

Sam: "I love you too! Now let's revive Optimus!"

Optimus is revived and fights The Fallen on a pyramid. SCHHLAAWWWR!! KA-BAM!!!! The Machine is destroyed. Megatron and Starscream retreat to the third movie.

Exterior Aircraft Carrier, slow motion.

Optimus Prime: I send out this message to all Autobots: join me on Earth for another sequel in 2011.

The preceeding was the script for the entire second half of the movie, just over an hour's worth of film.

Now, on to the review: just how bad is this film? It's pretty bad, folks. The trouble is this: Michael Bay thinks you're retarded. There's no other explanation for it, really. Examples:

-- Sam conveneintly discovers something in his pocket that will reactivate dead Transformers or create new ones from kitchen appliances. Its discovery causes his parents' house to be half-destroyed, but because he's on his way to college that day, he gives this powerfully dangerous thing to his girlfriend, to keep in her purse. I know you will be tempted to ask, "why would anybody do this?" Don't... you're retarded, remember?

-- Transformers have, for some reason, developed a method of transferring information into the human brain for safekeeping. The map to their energy source machine (in the characters of their ancient language, of course) is downloaded into Sam's brain as a form of backup. This would be like humans copying the information needed to destroy worlds and create unlimited energy to a butterfly, just in case something happens to all our books, computers, and scientists. This makes perfect sense, if you are retarded.

-- Sam and his posse enter the National Air and Space museum in Washington, D.C., to find an old Transformer that can help them. The Transformer (who turns out to be a pirate or something, conveniently activated by the thinger Megan Fox had kept in her purse) exits the museum into the Arizona desert, where they are surrounded by hundreds of disused military planes. Will the audience notice that there is no desert in Washington D.C., no acres of mothballed planes surrounding the Air and Space Museum? Of course they won't! They're retarded, remember?

These are the tip of the iceberg. Michael Bay thinks we can't tell one pyramid from another; thinks we can't tell New York City from Los Angeles; thinks we'll believe that the Pyramids are near the ocean if he shows it that way; thinks we won't ask why wind that blows away a van like it was paper won't blow away the humans hiding behind it; thinks we don't know that one cannot cross the border from Jordan to Egypt, because there isn't one. None of the things in this movie would have been very tough to fix, but the movie doesn't care, and neither does Michael Bay. This movie is so lazy, it's an insult to the audience.

But here's the saddest thing of all: he's absolutely right. We are retarded, because we keep going to see his films, each one crappier than the last. Why should he make any effort to deliver anything that makes sense, has characters you can tell apart from one another, follows universally agreed upon guidelines of physics or geography, or has a beginning and an end? Why indeed, if we keep lining up to watch this garbage?

A film like Battlefield Earth is stupid, but in a cohesive sort of fashion. I don't think they set out to make a bad film, but they did, and in its own way, it is enjoyable. Transformers 2, however, was never intended to be a good film. Nobody involved with this film put any effort whatsoever into its creation, because they knew they didn't have to. It's Hollywood's version of a ponzi scheme... promise something good, deliver less than crap, take the money and run, repeat.

Bay has made a couple watchable films. The Rock was a good movie, and Armageddon was big dumb fun. But he never should have been allowed to make another film after Pearl Harbor... and unbelieveably, this is worse than that film. Michael Bay is the Worst Director in the History of Film, and this is his masterpiece of crap. This is the nadir of filmmaking. Not only is it a bad film, but it stands as an example of just how much contempt the director has for his audience. This is the first film to receive the perfectly awful rating of 4/4 Dingers. May it be the last.