As I wandered the cosmos, I reflected upon some of the wisdom I gave to a certain playwright, centuries of your Earth-years ago. As I passed through the Crab Nebulae, the words "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves" came into my Beardly mind, and I smiled a Beardly smile. As the Rockies suffer the slings and arrows of quadricep injuries and bullpen meltdowns, keep these words in mind, my friends! The Rockies hold their destinies in their own hands.
Certainly, the news that Troy Tulowitzki had a serious injury reached me even as I rounded Neptune and headed back for Earth. The universe is very keen on Tulo, you see. And in truth, Rockies fans throughout the galaxy expressed concern that his injury would doom this young season... but as part of my role as Ryan Spilborghs' beard, I spread the calm and reason that such times require, and here in this week's Beard Shavings, I shall continue to do so.
Remember, Rockies Faithful, that Clint Barmes is there as the back up for Tulo. Barmes is a fine defensive shortstop, and has hit the ball fairly well this season as well. And Quintanilla and Herrera will surprise many with their play... fear not! The loss of Tulowitzki is a great burden on this team, but as great teams do, the Rockies shall overcome.
In honor of the above quote which inspired me to reassure you all, Ryan and I have decided on a change of beard style. I will now appear to you in the form of a sort-of Shakespearean Beard, still on Ryan's face, of course. This minor alteration will allow me to distribute a bit of extra Beard Power to other areas of the team which may be lacking... such as the bullpen and 4/5 of the rotation. I am not affiliated in any way with Aaron Cook's beard, by the way, although he's pitched so well that I can't say that I'd blame you for thinking I was involved. But credit where it is due: Cook has definitely had a beard-worthy season so far.Until next week, I wish both the bearded and the beardless good fortune!
