A Farewell from The Beard

Dearest readers, it is with a heavy heart that I must bid you farewell! This season has been a very trying time for me, The Beard, as I have attempted to channel greatness unto the Colorado Rockies. Unfortunately, I believe that many of the Rockies have reached the point where they are relying too much on the greatness of others, rather than trusting their own. In other words, The Beard has become a distraction, and my advice is too often being ignored.

In parallel universes, beards=evil, and the Rockies win on Sundays.

Even Ryan Spilborghs, the primary conduit of Beardly Greatness, is struggling mightily this season... barely even deserving his spot on the roster, much less a spot on The Beard's itinerary. There have been Beard-worthy performances this season, no doubt... Todd Helton has bounced back in a big way, putting together a fine season. Seth Smith has managed to exceed the expectations of just about everybody (except his manager, apparently, who still relegates him to platoon duty). Huston Street has a setup man's ability but a closer's attitude, and even though he has struggled at times, he is getting the job done.

However, few others have raised their play this season to Beard-worthy levels for any substantial stretch of time, which explains why the Rockies find themselves below .500 and ten games back of the Diamondbacks and Giants. One of those is a team that demonstrates just how far playing as a team, with passion and joy, can take you; and one shows that extremely good starting pitching can carry a pathetic offense much further than extremely good offense could ever hope to drag pathetic pitching.

So the best thing for me to do for the Rockies is what every parent must also do: to let them go and find their own path. I have held their hand, I have shown them the way, I have drawn out a little map on a paper napkin and tucked it into their pocket... but I sense that they are now waiting to for someone to pull them down that path, when true greatness comes to those who walk it alone.

This is not to say that you will not see manly, manly beards upon the Rockies' faces. In fact, many of the Rockies are sporting beards right now... as much as I'd like to think it's a "farewell" to me, I believe it's actually the result of the team realizing that they must find their Inner Beard, and let it out. In a season that has had too few, this is a positive sign. This is also not to say that I will not still be here to comment on the Rockies success (or lack thereof)... I will simply be an observer, like the rest of you.

However, my primary focus for the next year or so will be to find Peter Jackson and offer my assistance. His beard itself isn't quite up to my standards, but if I can keep The Hobbit from approaching Phantom Menace levels of suck, I will let the preppy-hobo look slide. Rockies fans, fear not! I will never be too far, but this team needs to learn to find the greatness within themselves, rather than counting on the greatness of The Universe to come through them.

The talent is there on this club, but the attitude is all wrong. Helton is there, as always, providing the "see the ball, hit the ball" example to follow... but too many of them ignore it, preferring Tulo's grip-it-and-rip-it philosophy. When a player with an unapologetically immature approach at the plate as Tulo is the "team leader" (and when the manager doesn't have the stones to hold his star player accountable for it), the result is a feast-or-famine team... which is what the Rockies have become. It is my hope that they will learn from this season, and soon return to the greatness for which they are destined!

Fondly,
The Beard