Happy Holidays from Year of The Beard!

The Beard is taking his annual post-Christmas vacation, but he sends the following message:

"Dearest Readers, Hello! It is I, The Beard. I hope you have all enjoyed a safe and relaxing Christmas (or whichever solstice-based holiday you celebrate), and are looking forward to the New Year! I am writing you from the guest house at the North Pole. Mr. and Mrs. Claus are fantastic hosts, and I am feeling quite relaxed after our busy week.

It should come as no surprise to our regular readers that I lend a helping hand (so to speak) to one of the bearded greats of your planet, Saint Nicholas. Although he and his staff of professionals do the bulk of the work (and, I must be clear, deserve all of the credit!) throughout the year to prepare for Christmas Day, I pop in about the 23rd each year to help with the final push, and then we all take a well-deserved vacation until mid-January.

About 70 years ago, Mrs. Claus confided in me that although he still enjoyed the work, the Big Night itself was starting to get away from Nicholas. He really takes on a great deal of responsibility, when you think about it: an entire year of planning, toy making, reindeer husbandry, and Naughty/Nice list creation and maintenance (which in and of itself is a full-time job) was wearing the guy down, and by the night of the 24th -- when he really needs to bring his "A" game -- the poor man was just exhausted.

The Christmas Night of 1938 was the tipping point that led Mrs. Claus to reach out to me. It actually took him about 34 hours to complete his deliveries that night... kids in Central Europe didn't get their gifts until after noon on Christmas Day, creating widespread grumpiness in that region. It was an embarrassing day for Nicholas that he still doesn't like to talk about. So when when Mrs. Claus contacted me, I immediately offered Beardly assistance which was quickly accepted. Since then, we have trimmed the night to just under 20 hours worth of work... pretty good when one considers that the Nice list is nearly 50% longer than it was back then!

So to make a long story short, I'm sitting here by the pool at the Claus home, a modest little place but with all the amenities of the finest resort hotels in the galaxy. Your planet really needs to open your eyes to the notion of cold-weather resorts, but that's a topic for another day. I am reminded, however, of how good it always feels to unwind right about now after a year's worth of hard work, and I hope you all are doing the same."

Happy Holidays from Year of The Beard!