Rockies Go to Chicago, Stink.

The Cubs are the Cubs, they just have "loser" in their blood. Nice ballpark, loyal fans, but they just aren't a team that scares you... ever. The Cubs are the only team that Charlie Brown could pitch for and it would make him even more depressed.

Even the best Cubs team of all time is still named after a cuddly little baby bear. When you encounter a cuddly little baby bear, you aren't worried about the baby bear at all. It looks like it might be a lot of fun to pick one up and hug it, or even mess with it a bit. You know, take its food away and hold it up just out of its reach; watching it jump a couple times and then fall back down to the forest floor in a fuzzy ball before rolling onto his back, where he suddenly notices his hind legs sticking up in the air and he starts playing with his feet for a while. You could do that all day long! What you worry about about is its mom, who's about to spring out from any direction and pummel your ass to the point the Lab Boys will have to run a complicated DNA test to determine what type of creature you used to be.

So when a team gets swept by the cute little defenseless Cubs, it hurts, but frankly, the Cubs' moms could probably have taken both these games, too. Two decent outings by the starting pitchers wasted by two flaccid games at the plate, and kept out of reach by another failure in the bullpen. When is this team going to start hitting?

Answer: when they're 15 games back. Seems like the only time they ever do.